21 oktober 2008

The Big One

His was big, I guess it's still the biggest , or at least longest I've ever experienced! It completly surpriced me.

We had been flirting for a while and finally after a party we got it on in one of the rooms at work.
It wasn't all just sex, not in my mind. We cuddled and then just got to excited to be able to stop ourselfs.

It's not all honey and milk tho'. The size of his penis actually put a damper on things since if he rocked to hard he hurt me. I'd crumble and moan in pain.

He also said he liked my breast, but also my ass. "nice and grabable". I really liked when he firmly took a hold of it, as to show how much he liked it.
It was suh a strange feeling that he found me sexy. I mean before that only my ex-boyfriend ever told me that but I figured that wasn't completly biased. To turn someone else on was something new and fascinating.

However I wanted something more, that he wasn't able to give me.
So due to lack of affection from him I went and got it from other places. To compensate.
It was a hard time as I tried to understand why he didn't like me. At some point he must have... otherwise why did we have sex, you don't want to have sex with someone you don't like, right? That's where I came from...
I learned that doesn't have to be the truth.
The guy actually lead me to alter the frase "There's people who want to fuck you, and there's people who want to fuck you".

I'd also like to clarify that he had difficulties of his own... a has-been drugie with servere emotional problems.
And he excused my behaviour with that of some Florence Nightingale-person... which I never bought or believed, however I couldn't convince him that I didn't want to save him, that all I wanted to do was have him make careful love to me, which he was unable to do.

It was a hard and emotionally expensive lesson to learn.

01 oktober 2008

The rabbit

At this point I thought I'd got the hang of the sex-thing. I had sex with my boyfriend once a week to keep him from getting all grumpy on me. Although sometimes I felt hollow about compromising myself, I never had sex because I really wanted to, I let myself get persuaded into it, or not. .
In the end it didn't make anyone happy.

It was one thing that He liked me, but that someone else would be turned on by me was another thing. I had a hard time dealing with it and at the same time it was fascinating. Which led me to being seduced by "the rabbit":
He had a large body, tall and used to brag about the enormous size of his dick. Or rather... he used to say that most guys used gadgets and stuff to compensate for a lack of size, but he didn't need or have to...
That was the first time I learned that as soon as a guy says something about having a package on forehand it automatically means that he has a small one. (it has been proven to me over and over during the years.)
I was actually surprised when I had sex with him about not feeling anything at all, while he was going on and on in a hysterical phase. I felt disconnected.
Afterwards said that it was great. It made me really confused and we only had sex once.