Erotic moments

Internet-dating. I wasn't a big fan. I've never been. But this is the story about the exception to the rule.

This guy wrote me and it was the beginning of mail upon mails going back and forth. They were the joy of my day.
I didn't think of it as flirting. He lived far away as a student. Months went by. Eventually his semester ended and he went back here, to his hometown to work during the summer.
By then we'd grown pretty found and curious about each other. We decided to meet up. Win or loose.

One strange thing when I think about it now is that up until the day before we didn't have the slightest clue about what the other person looked like. Since we weren't flirting.

I imagined a kinda boring-looking fellow. I was really surprised to get a bright red headed (coloured) guy in T-shirt and jeans, a few pounds to much, a package full of charm.
Very soft and mellow. Thoughtful and smart.

We had a lovely date, walked around town, had coffee and talked.
As we walked by the sea-side it started pouring down and we hid under a tree. We stood close and felt overwhelmed.

By the end of the date, he got shy as he said that he'd like to do it again someday. I just nodded, to shy to move or breathe. We hugged.

The next day there was this sports game.
I went to a bar to watch it with a couple of friends, when he texted me and thanked me for yesterday. It was Friday and he asked me what I was up to? I invited him to join us which he and his friends did.

He stood by the bar as I happily walked over. Hardly knowing what to say. So I just grabbed him by his hand and took him somewhere were we could sit down to talk.
"Did you know I had a pulse of 170 when I met you yesterday?"
I thought it was weird to count ones pulse, and wondered how. I also knew the feeling. I just wanted to be close to him.

And then he did what I regard as one of the most tender and soft things anyone's ever done to me.
Gently he took my hands in his and softly kissed my arms.
It blew me away.
We sat there snogging for hours, talking and then we walked all the way back to my place. Making stops to make out and feel each other more.

We got home early in the morning.
I sat on the floor while trying to pick some nice music and he just got behind me, held me, kissed me (eventually killed me).

We laid naked.
Feeling. Touching. Tasting.

He loved when I scratched him hard on his balls. Very hard. Nails and moaning. I felt excited from brining him pleasure and then I wanted him to please me.

If you get inside me it will calm me down - (I'm going to die)
If you come inside me I will never get enough - (I am going to die)

"I don't know what to say..."
We lied naked in the bed holding on to each other. Birds outside and he continued:
"I think that was the most erotic moment I've ever experienced."

In amazement we feel asleep.

Approaching a guy!

I was bored out of my senses.
Me and a couple of friends had gone out and some hours later they where hitting it off on the dance floor. While I wandered of looking around.
I wanted some excitement, so I made a secret bet with myself to approach a guy. Just cause I’ve never done it before.
My self-esteem was still not that high, and that's why I decided to challenge myself, that and the boredom… Who cares? I'm not gonna see any of these people again.

To be a girl you’re supposed to sit and wait for someone to start talking to you, and when some guys finaly approache you that's when you get to decide if you want to continue the interaction or not.
Chances are, you're just greatful that he's talking to you.
If you go out and no one talks to you it’s just as much of a disappointment for a girl as for a boy getting rejected once he starts talking to a girl.

Today I prefer making the first contact myself. I don’t what to be a victim to whichever idiot walking up to me, just because he’s chosen me out of all the cows.

But that night I felt very un-secure about striking up a conversation with a cute guy.

However, it was disappointingly easy.
I saw this guy. we made eye-contact. Standing around like fools. And then I walked up to him and said ”hi”.
From my experience that’s usually what it takes to get a man into bed.

Another sure thing that’ll get you the guy is to just walk up up to him and inform him that ”I’m leaving now, but before I go I just wanted to tell you that you’re the best-looking guy in the room”. It works every time.
Over the years I’ve tried it on most types of men. Not that I ended up having sex with them, but I definitely could have (one exception - the story's last in this post).
It’s so easy it’s not even a technique!


Anyway, back to the first guy I approached.
Eventually I took him back to my place.
He had a very small cock. Since he was a guy who was into the anal-thing I thanked my God for that.

I don’t like anal-sex and from what I know anal-sex is something that men enjoy more than women - because it stimulates their prostate.
That’s the reason that men enjoy doing number two more. Or why some men want you to put a finger up there. While at the same time too many men think it's sickening whenever gay men have anal-sex! Ain't that funny?
Today, no man would ever be able to stick his thing up my bum.

I had tried anal-sex before, cause my ex persuaded me to try it a couple of times.
Laying there with this guy as he started to act like he lost his map I thought ”ok, since it’s so small you might stick it there, otherwise - since neither you nor me are feeling a thing we’ll be here forever.” It was the only time I remotely enjoyed it.

In the morning I thought he’d never leave. I didn’t want his number. I felt great about picking him up and I advice every women who hasn’t picked up a guy to try it at least once. It works miracles for your self-esteem and makes you more beautiful than most other beauty-tips.



* It failed once, or maybe not, but the guy truly was the most beautiful specimen I ever did see. He shined.
I ended up beside him in the bar and actually became insecure. A feeling I don’t like.
So I told him that he was beautiful. And the strangest thing happened. He acted really surprised:
”Really, do you think so?” for some reason I got very shy. It might have been the fact that he really was that pretty, or the fact that he really seemed surprised and behaved so way of the scale from what beautiful people usually do. As if he really didn’t know…
as I remember it, we exchanged names, and I mumbled something about ”well… you truly are, and I just wanted to tell you, but now I have to get back to my friends”. He said: ”Oh! Well thank you once again.”
I love him for it!

He had the cutest ass I've ever seen.

...But then again he was a sportsman. He even competed for a quite major team although it's in a quite small sport.

This was a quite long time ago and what I remembered was that he had a black tee-shirt, He looked kinda Indie and lost. Indie is not my type but lost boys are.
We talked danced and ran from the club into a taxi holding hands. I was in a good mood.

He was a couple of years younger but lived on his own, during the days he worked at a restaurant.

I really let myself go wild.
After much time of agnst It was nice to adopt a new sexual identity. Take control.
I stayed on top most of the time.

I've got really found memorys of having sex with him. Mostly cause when we were done the bed had moved away from the wall, which he noticed as he got up to go to the bathroom.
"Oh my godness, look att thee bed... it's moved to the middle of the room!"
I laughed.
"This has never happened before!"

Eventually we had a nice shower together, I got to touch his wonderful ass. It really was the kind you'd want to bite.
And then I left, never to see him again.

For being a younger men (about 4-5 years) he knew what he was doing. He was secure.

I always know from having sex with someone wether they've had a longer relationship or not. You definetly can tell by their confidence and know-how, the small things.
And sexual experinece in that sense doesn't come from having sex with lots of different partners, no matter how often.
You can also tell if the guy your having sex with is inpired by porn or not. But I'll get back to that in another blog.
I'll also get back to my take on one night stands...

Bad things on R

I've been doubtful as to weather to mention the rape or not. For me it abviously wasn't sex, yet ofcourse it effected what was to come in my sex-life.

It made me emotionaly numb and the beauty of someone you liked wanting to have sex with you dissapeared. Love ment sex but sex ment nothing therefor love ment nothing.

I thought: "I do lots of things, but not love"


So, I went for the secure thing.
A relationship.
A brief one.
Sex with Joe the plumber.

Except one morning when I fucked him on his balchony. That was fun!
It was the start of me fucking people instead of the other way around.


Note: being sexualy abused is in my experience something almost every woman encounters. (Someone touching you, looking at you or saying somthing sexual in a way that scares you.)
And even if you don't, just the tought and fear of being raped or abused on your way home (or in your home) has a hold on most women in a way men will never understand.
That in itself is a form of abuse.

The Big One

His was big, I guess it's still the biggest , or at least longest I've ever experienced! It completly surpriced me.

We had been flirting for a while and finally after a party we got it on in one of the rooms at work.
It wasn't all just sex, not in my mind. We cuddled and then just got to excited to be able to stop ourselfs.

It's not all honey and milk tho'. The size of his penis actually put a damper on things since if he rocked to hard he hurt me. I'd crumble and moan in pain.

He also said he liked my breast, but also my ass. "nice and grabable". I really liked when he firmly took a hold of it, as to show how much he liked it.
It was suh a strange feeling that he found me sexy. I mean before that only my ex-boyfriend ever told me that but I figured that wasn't completly biased. To turn someone else on was something new and fascinating.

However I wanted something more, that he wasn't able to give me.
So due to lack of affection from him I went and got it from other places. To compensate.
It was a hard time as I tried to understand why he didn't like me. At some point he must have... otherwise why did we have sex, you don't want to have sex with someone you don't like, right? That's where I came from...
I learned that doesn't have to be the truth.
The guy actually lead me to alter the frase "There's people who want to fuck you, and there's people who want to fuck you".

I'd also like to clarify that he had difficulties of his own... a has-been drugie with servere emotional problems.
And he excused my behaviour with that of some Florence Nightingale-person... which I never bought or believed, however I couldn't convince him that I didn't want to save him, that all I wanted to do was have him make careful love to me, which he was unable to do.

It was a hard and emotionally expensive lesson to learn.

The rabbit

At this point I thought I'd got the hang of the sex-thing. I had sex with my boyfriend once a week to keep him from getting all grumpy on me. Although sometimes I felt hollow about compromising myself, I never had sex because I really wanted to, I let myself get persuaded into it, or not. .
In the end it didn't make anyone happy.

It was one thing that He liked me, but that someone else would be turned on by me was another thing. I had a hard time dealing with it and at the same time it was fascinating. Which led me to being seduced by "the rabbit":
He had a large body, tall and used to brag about the enormous size of his dick. Or rather... he used to say that most guys used gadgets and stuff to compensate for a lack of size, but he didn't need or have to...
That was the first time I learned that as soon as a guy says something about having a package on forehand it automatically means that he has a small one. (it has been proven to me over and over during the years.)
I was actually surprised when I had sex with him about not feeling anything at all, while he was going on and on in a hysterical phase. I felt disconnected.
Afterwards said that it was great. It made me really confused and we only had sex once.

SPICE UP YOUR SEX-LIFE?

We had sex for hours and hours and peaked during a sex-hour race.
I had a hard time walking after that incident. And truth is that it's not always great sex just because it goes on and on, after a couple of hours you honestly want to do something else or you're wondering what's wrong with me, why can't he orgasm?

Truth was that he had a fear-of-potential-consequences -from-having-sex (like children). There where incidents when he used double condoms just in case one would break and sometimes I had to comfort him after having sex. He was not religious, just cautious which results in other issues, he had a hard time with the cumming part.
I must have given him a 1000 heads and only got him to cum 3 times. At first I thought I was really bad, but it wasn't that. I tried everything.
In general I never thought I was a good lover who could satisfy my partner, which in return made me a worse lover cause much of the sex we had was aimed at making him comfortable. It seldom was about my pleasure, something I couldn't grasp. However he did and eventually he bought me *toys" and said that I could use them for any sexual-exploration of myself that I wanted to try.
Eventually I got to like them but they where also a symptom of his growing fascination for pornography and sex in the sense of SEX not making love - he wanted to use them to spice up things. While I still hadn't gotten around to knowing what I even liked about the horizontal tango. I still did what I did sexually to satisfy him and it would take me years until I even started to closed in on that knowledge.